This is me.

Kelsey. 24. Kittens. Dance. Television. Iowa. Nerdfighter. <3

7 notes

kelsey and i have quality conversations:

me:
OH MY GOSH. This dude on the news got his 4 parrots stolen
and he is crying and saying its exactly like getting your child stolen, no. oh my gosh no
kelsey:
WHAT
omg
me:
his parrots, kelsey. tequila was one of their names...juuust like a child
kelsey:
i can't
that's what i'm going to name my child
tequila parrot
call him quila bird for short
me:
aslkdjfklaj quila bird. avalanche was another name..
kelsey:
"MUDSLIIIIDDDDEEEEE! Come in for DINNNEEERRRRRRR"

Filed under hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

214 notes

surisburnbook: Jaden Smith is turning fifteen in July, and he may be getting the one present I’ve been lobbying for for years: legal emancipation. “He says, ‘Dad, I want to be emancipated.’ I know if we do this, he can be an emancipated minor, because he really wants to have his own place, like ooh.” Look, I’d want Jaden Smith out of my house, too, but let’s be honest. Samuel Affleck, age 1, would be a more responsible emancipated minor than Jaden Smith. The Smith kids loose in society is honestly my worst nightmare, and I thought I had three more years before that became a reality. It’s pretty clear, though, that Will Smith operates outside of reality. In that same interview, he calls himself “the biggest movie star in the world.” Okay, then. If you say so.

surisburnbook:

Jaden Smith is turning fifteen in July, and he may be getting the one present I’ve been lobbying for for years: legal emancipation.

“He says, ‘Dad, I want to be emancipated.’ I know if we do this, he can be an emancipated minor, because he really wants to have his own place, like ooh.”

Look, I’d want Jaden Smith out of my house, too, but let’s be honest. Samuel Affleck, age 1, would be a more responsible emancipated minor than Jaden Smith. The Smith kids loose in society is honestly my worst nightmare, and I thought I had three more years before that became a reality.

It’s pretty clear, though, that Will Smith operates outside of reality. In that same interview, he calls himself “the biggest movie star in the world.” Okay, then. If you say so.